Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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