You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
