Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
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