yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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