ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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