I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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