He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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