She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
