You're earring is so big in my mouth
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
