No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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