Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
