We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
