Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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