the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
