I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
