Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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