Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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