I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
meet me or not, i'm out of control
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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