Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
