So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just want to make out with him forever
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
