it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize