You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
