nut hugger
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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