I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
