Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
