So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
