Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize