twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
