Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
