I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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