Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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