Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
