I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
