My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
