you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
