Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
