she woke up with a sticky ear
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
