I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
