Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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