I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
