Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
