so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
