I want to walk on stilts...naked
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
