i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
