The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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