Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize