my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
