My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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