I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
