yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
