Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
