I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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