the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
