3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the day after is always just damage control
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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