pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
