He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
too bad you live with your parents still
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
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