Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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