i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
