Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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