It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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