I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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