Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
