If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
