Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
