If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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