For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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