I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
