Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
