I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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