Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
