I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
