Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
