Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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